What a journey! I’m glad you don’t wrestle with guilt over it anymore — guilt has got to be one of the most unproductive emotions there are. Marijuana helped me tremendously when I first stopped drinking and quit more powerful drugs. I went cold turkey off everything for five months, and was suicidal the whole time.

I wound up being treated at the V.A. (I was a veteran, just out of the Navy) for depression, and there, a roommate offered me a joint, and I discovered the lovely combination of lithium and marijuana. That got me through the next two years — I don’t know if I’d have gotten through that time without the pot.

When a doctor took me off the lithium, for a really stupid reason, my happy medium went haywire, and my pot use spun out of control, and I got into some other drugs, like opium.

I eventually got clean in N.A., and haven’t touched anything in 39 1/2 years. The first four years clean were rough. After that, I learned to deal with life on life’s terms without the aid of a substance. The 12 Steps helped a lot.

Since I was an alcoholic, and addict, I found I couldn’t play with the pot. I see its value, though, and am very happy that it helps others deal with serious medical issues. It certainly helped me at a time that I might not have made it without it.

I’m glad you’ve come to terms with it, and found a way to reap its benefits, without feeling bad or guilty about it.